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Wednesday, September 30th, 2009
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This must be the saddest mother fucking journal floating in cyberspace. No more. Good things to come (despite the fact that things are really bad on the homefront right now). There is beauty in the details and even when the sun isn't shining, it's still up there somewhere.
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Friday, December 12th, 2008
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"John": the evolution of the south nj punkrockers
"John": one goes to war, the other nyu
"John": how romantic!
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
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Lush has completely transformed my skin.
My right shoulder blade has been itchy for 3 days straight.
Clive Barker is a brilliant writer.
I put together a puppetry show and workshop for victimized women and children at the Safe Horizon shelter and a separate one for the Ronald McDonald House.
Zach is getting a puppy- I am gonna be it's momma!
We are going on a romantic getaway to the mountains for a week over Christmas- all 5 of us.
School is almost over. Bye bye, NYC.
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Once
After a hard day’s forage
Two bears sat together in silence
On a beautiful vista
Watching the sun go down
And feeling deeply grateful
For life.
Though after a while
A thought-provoking conversation began
Which turned to the topic of
Fame.
Then one bear said,
“Did you hear about Rustam?
He has become famous
And travels from city to city
In a golden cage;
He performs to hundreds of people
Who laugh and applaud
His carnival
Stunts.”
The other bear thought for
A few seconds
Then started weeping.
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Monday, October 27th, 2008
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| Time: | 12:06 pm. |
| Mood: |  worried. |
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I am fairly happy, despite being completely antisocial, despite the economic crisis tearing down my family, despite whatever imbalance is going on in my brain, despite not studying for midterms, despite having to film a musical without being given any sheet music, despite being overworked at the job, despite lots of money to take trains, despite cold cold new york city. Happy with my relationship, my family, school finishing up, mountain getaway in a winter wonderland, Halloween Pagan rituals, Zach's mom's wedding.
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Wednesday, October 8th, 2008
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Look man, I'm telling you right off the bat, I'm high-maintainance, so... I'm not gonna tip-toe around your marriage, or whatever it is you've got goin' there. If you wanna be with me, you're with me. Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.
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Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008
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1. threading is the new waxing
2. bubble tea
3. vinyasa
end.
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Thursday, September 18th, 2008
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| Time: | 8:09 am. |
| Mood: |  loved. |
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so far so good.
if it wasn't for 9 am yoga and then 4 ensuing classes and then a 1.5 hour ride to NJ, thursdays wouldn't be that bad.
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Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008
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We had the right love
At the wrong time
Guess I always knew inside
I wouldnt have you for a long time
Those dreams of yours
Are shining on distant shores
And if theyre calling you away
I have no right to make you stay,
But somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
It doesnt really matter when
But somewhere down the road
I know that heart of yours
Will come to see
That you belong with me
Sometimes goodbyes are not forever
It doesnt matter if youre gone
I still believe in us together
I understand more than you think I can
You have to go out on your own
So you can find your way back home
Letting go is just another way to say
Ill always love you so
We had the right love
At the wrong time
Maybe weve only just begun
Maybe the best is yet to come
Cause somewhere down the road...
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Sheets of empty canvas
Untouched sheets of clay
Were laid spread out before me
As her body once did
All five horizons
Revolved around her soul
As the earth to the sun
Now the air I tasted and breathed
Has taken a turn
Ooh and all I taught her was everything
Ooh I know she gave me all that she wore
And now my bitter hands
Chafe beneath the clouds
Of what was everything
Oh the pictures have
All been washed in black
Tattooed everything
I take a walk outside
I'm surrounded by
Some kids at play
I can feel their laughter
So why do I sear
Oh, and twisted thoughts that spin
Round my head
I'm spinning
Oh, I'm spinning
How quick the sun can, drop away...
And now my bitter hands
Cradle broken glass
Of what was everything
All the pictures had
All been washed in black
Tattooed everything
All the love gone bad
Turned my world to black
Tattooed all I see
All that I am
All I'll be...
I know someday you'll have a beautiful life
I know you'll be a sun
In somebody else's sky
But why
Why
Why can't it be
Why can't it be mine
we-
we belong
we belong together
together
we-
we belong
we belong together
oh yeah
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Mimerape.org
i feel like i'm 14 again, except this type of blogging is much different than HaltHate.org and AdviceforYouth. now if only i was still DJing the melodic hardcore hour on emokidsradio.
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Doesn't it always go that when it rains it pours?
Or how about, when someone can't shut their mouth they REEEEALLLYYYY can't shut their fucking mouth?
"Why is it that everything that's simple must become complex?"
i-i-i-i like you crazy.
"That's your problem! You don't want to be in love, you want to be in love in a MOVIE!!!"
- Sleepless in Seattle
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I know I deserve the whole package. I want it all.
I don't want to be someone you keep your options open with.
I said it once and I'll say it again: don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
This is what I get.
I don't want to settle.
Take all your eggs out of that one (really beautiful) basket.
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As far as I know I've always been this way. Got a recipe for a brand new me but I don't follow directions well. I'm not trying to break this wheel- never did, never will. I'm just trying to lay still.
I have no reason why I can't just stake my claim here, but I feel too paralyzed to move (let alone break free here). I don't feel free at all.
I smell co-writing an album coming.
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Wednesday, April 30th, 2008
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Joe Fox: You're crazy about him...
Kathleen Kelly: Yes. I am.
Joe Fox: Then why don't you run off with him? What are you waiting for?
Kathleen Kelly: I don't actually know him.
Joe Fox: Really?
Kathleen Kelly: We only know each other - oh, God, you're not going to believe this...
Joe Fox: Let me guess. From the Internet.
i can actually feel my heart breaking, sometimes.
he's actually perfect.
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don't you dare make someone a priority when they make you an option.
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Wednesday, April 9th, 2008
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this weekend i'm puppeteering for an artist in brooklyn, a huge mixed media show.
"On Saturday evening we will feature many of Eric Leiser's wonderful talents starting off with a Puppet show, excerpts of his animations and his in progress anti novel, and his new film from Ireland. Show starts at 8pm."
210 Kent Ave in Brooklyn if ya'll are interested.
For this summer, I booked an Equity production of Gypsy in Delaware. yyaaaa EMC points!
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So this weekend was... hilarious. Kathryn from class and I puppeteered on this guy Alex's shoot for a show called Duck in Space about a duck who owns a bar in space and his two customers are a highly evolved plant (comedian TJ Del Reno) and a soldier (actor/comedian Simon Winheld). The duck's voice was Brian Fenkart, an actor/musician who is... mmm. Right now i'm stained with corn syrup because I had to make fake blood and explode it everywhere... multiple times. The whole shoot was fabulous, those guys are hilarious. I made some money out of it and some hot new friends. Also saw Petrushka, a puppet show by Basil Twist, at Lincoln Center. It was beautiful and mind-blowing and touching and sad. My puppetry teacher took me and 3 other classmates out for dinner and drinks afterward and that was super funny. On my way home from the shoot today these 3 crazy drunk people really liked my plastic duck and wouldn't stop joking around with me and this beautiful musician guy next to them was cracking up and joking around with me. It was a hilarious weekend.
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Yesterday I filmed a TV pilot called Justice Squad, I.C.D. written by Steve Oppenheim, a PA for Scorcese and Spielberg's films. Lucy Lui's hairstylist did my hair and the girls who work for the wardrobe department of the show 30 Rock outfitted me. Got to work with actors Josh Alexander, who is in the new indie film Backseat and Mark Odlum who I saw earlier this year in Strange Faculty. After the shoot I met up with Mike Destefano, the stand up comedian who I filmed an episodic for with SuperDeluxe.com. Went to his show at Caroline's in Times Square where Tommy Davidson from that old show In Living Color was headlining (sidenote: Tommy is a 42 year old black guy with a daughter my age and a wife but he kept telling me how hot I was and to wait around till after the show- TISK). Mike is great, we're talking about doing something with puppets and stand up or a 1 man show. Tis all for now.
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Thursday, March 13th, 2008
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
fleshdunce's journal
hopeful.